How to disagree with your boss/seniors

Hey there! 👋

I have had the opportunity to have worked for some amazing people, and while we respect each other, we don’t always agree on a lot of things. They are mostly very brilliant people who look for feedback and critic, but I have come across some individual who are not used to receiving opposing sentiment. With that in mind, there’s a 3-step approach that you can follow.

Present facts
When speaking to a senior colleague, they are likely to be dealing with numbers. Whether it’s a dollar figure or customer acquisition number, when presenting to them, you have to back these up with research and show how you worked those figures out. Especially in UX, it could be hard to quantify those metrics (I’ll cover these another time), but it’s doable. When you are able to present facts, you also need to engage them in terms of feelings. Cost of inaction (COI) is a way to present to them what happens if this does not happen, and then showing them the estimate Return of investment (ROI). Giving them something to compare—if I do this, versus, if I don’t, has a huge impact of influencing how they might think.

Agree with them
You read it right. By agreeing with them, it helps soften the impact of trying to bring up something different. We often say, “Yes, but…”. However, the word ‘but’ has a negative connotation when you’re at the receiving end of it. In short, I could be implying that they are wrong, which could make the person defensive. A more subtle way of disagree is to use the word ‘and’. Here’s an example if someone says something that you don’t agree “Yes, and I do understand where you’re coming from. I was thinking of something and I’m sure you might have already considered this. I was wondering if…” then proceed to make your suggestion.

Be polite and say thank you
In my experience, it never hurts to be polite and say thank you when someone makes the effort to listen to you. So do just that “Thank you so much. I really appreciate your time for hearing me out.” Reinforce their behaviour by also letting them know if they are still unsure, they can always reach you. “If you might need any further clarification of how we could move this forward, please let me know.”

MENTOR’S THOUGHTS
This is not a cookie cutter way of disagreeing with people, you still need to shape and tailor your conversation to the person that you’re speaking with, while still being upfront and genuine in your conversation. People can tell when you have a hidden agenda so don’t be deceptive when voicing your thoughts.

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Have a good weekend!

Best Regards,
Carlsson