The Discomfort of Being Wrong

Hello! 👋

It has been a while since I last written something to you! I wanted to take a break for a bit while it was the Lunar New Year holidays, but shortly after, I was taken ill—yet again. This nasty virus still has me coughing, but let’s not dwell on that! Today I wanted to talk about something that I believe most of us might have issues with—the discomfort of being wrong.

You’re Wrong. How Does That Feel?

In a world where we are obsessed with being right, we often associate being wrong as failure or inadequacy on our part. It’s really one of those things that could have been part of our upbringing. We often hear the same story of how our parents scold us when we’re failing in school, and even when we do well, they said it’s what we should do because studying is the only thing we do. That fear—the fear of failure, the fear of being wrong in tests and exams, might have been subconsciously instilled in us, and followed us into adulthood.

Not only does being wrong makes us feel embarrassed, we also seem to perpetuate the notion that smart people don’t get things wrong. However, I do think that it really boils down to one thing: self-esteem. We dread being told that we’re wrong, and that being wrong could also be an attack on our self-image, and how others will perceive us if we admit to our mistakes. And it also seems that the greater the size of the audience, the higher the possibility of humiliation becomes.

Getting Comfortable Being Wrong

It's crucial to recognise that everyone makes mistakes. Accepting our fallibility allows us to let go of the pressure to be perfect and frees us to explore new ideas and perspectives. With that said, getting comfortable being wrong does not mean that we should be alright with making the same mistakes repeatedly. Being wrong provides valuable insights into our thought processes and beliefs. When I encounter evidence that contradicts my way of thinking, it’s actually an opportunity for me to reevaluate my opinions and reframe my perspectives.

Steve Jobs famously dropped an iPod prototype into an aquarium to prove a point. When presenting the iPod prototype to Steve Jobs, the engineers said that it was simply impossible to make it any smaller. He walked over to an aquarium, and dropped the iPod in the tank. After it touched bottom, bubbles floated to the top, and he said,

"Those are air bubbles. That means there's space in there. Make it smaller."

Were the engineers wrong? Possibly not. Humiliating? Perhaps. However, this forced them to reframe their perspectives to make the iPod smaller than they already did—which essentially proves Steve Jobs’ point that they were wrong about it being impossible to be smaller.

You Can’t Grow in Your Comfort Zone

There are variations of this quote floating around the internet.

“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.”

This quote suggests that you seek out environments where you can learn from others who are more knowledgeable or experienced in certain areas than you are. However, it is important that we should also surround ourselves with people who support and encourage us to embrace our fallibility rather than judge us for it. We should always approach every situation with curiosity and a willingness to learn. Acknowledging our mistakes also demonstrates integrity and authenticity. If I made a mistake at work, explaining why I was wrong and how I plan to rectify the mistake requires effective communication, where learning to articulate my thoughts and ideas clearly fosters better communication skills over time and collaborate more effectively.

Being wrong provides opportunities to reinforce a growth mindset by viewing mistakes as stepping stones to growth rather than indicators of incompetence.

Reflect: Embracing fallibility fosters resilience. When we accept that failure is a natural part of the learning process, setbacks become opportunities for growth rather than sources of discouragement.

Mentor’s Notes

The way we think is restricted by what we think we know. Being wrong is one of the ways for us to foster personal and intellectual growth, and getting comfortable with being wrong is a skill that requires practice and perseverance. I also feel that using the phrase “I stand corrected” helps us be more open to admitting that something we have said or done was wrong and that we have learnt something new.

Take care and until next time,

P.S. We have grown quite a bit! Thank you for sharing and please continue sharing it with your friends if you think it’s useful for them too!